What the heck is with today? I just can’t seem to get things going right. I’m now finally sitting down to write with my third..yes thats right THRID attempt at my cup of coffee. It’s…alright. Better than the last that I managed to put far too much creamer in. And the first well. That was just my own stupid mistake not to push the little handle down on my fake kurig and ended up with hot water and creamer. (Yes I’m a weirdo who puts the creamer in the cup and lets the coffee brew into the creamer so its already mixed when I get my cup.) I’ve limited myself to one cup of coffee now a day. I love it oh so much, but I figure it’s the last thing I need with the anxiety as high as it is. Plus I’m not sure about mixing too much caffein with the propranolol.
Today, my whole body aches. In fact. Staying in bed all day sounds like the best idea in the world. But. That is not allowed. In fact. I think I may wash the bedding just to keep myself out of bed. Good plan? I thought so. No matter how poorly I feel I have to do a few things today. My bearded dragon Nanashi is in need of a cleaned up tank as she decided this week that her pellet food is no longer acceptable and kicked it through the tank, and promptly pooped in the dish.
First things first. Motivation. Which will not happen with the anxiety at an all time high. So I’m giving the meds some time to kick in. Light some incense, it helps me relax, usually I’ll have some burning most of the day. Music for some reason, sends my mind racing, so it’s CSI:NY in the background to keep my mind half focused on that, and not falling down that anxiety ridden rabbit hole which is so easy to do.
I have also decided to start attaching some of my photography to each of my posts. Lets start facing one fear.