Its a funny statement for me to make as I previously worked as a call center supervisor, taking hundreds of calls daily. But the anxiety of making calls has always been there. Today, I got a call from a local number I didn’t know so I sent it to voice mail, it’s from the place I bought my car from a few years back regarding some ” important information I would be interested in”. To my mind this is…there is a fatal flaw in your car and need to bring it in right away or it will explode.
Ok so I call them back.
And it’s a damn sales pitch to get me to come in and get a new car. How I could pay less than I’m paying now…blah blah…I inform the nice guy that I OWN my car so I don’t pay anything on it. (I now wish I had asked if that meant I could get a car for free.) I also hope this is my way out. But. Now I’m stuck on the phone. Trying to find my escape. I’m stuck. A few minuets later I’m able to manage my way in and tell him I don’t have any money so no I don’t wanna come in to look at cars. My out.
Now I’m mad. My anxiety is flaring in the back of my mind…wanting to find its way out. Take over.
Focus on the positive. I’ve met all my goals for the day. Kitty litter boxes changed. Second half of the dishes done. Swept the hall and kitchen, wasn’t able to use the swiffer…the wetjet fluid junk was empty. But thats ok. Folded and put away all the towels that have been sitting in the laundry basket for weeks.
And for your viewing…my freshly redone Red Bellied Toad tank…if you don’t remember I spent hours tearing apart their tank, installing the new filter/waterfall, rebuilding the land portion, and well CLEANING everything. I’m pretty proud of how it turned out, and they seem pretty darn happy with it too.
Slowly I will get my life and the things surrounding me back in order. I know its a slow process. Tomorrow is the first step. I have my first appointment at the mental health clinic. I’m nervous about that. I don’t know what to expect. I also have to walk to my appointment, no biggie it’s not that far but it gives me anxiety about people I work with will see me. Ugh.