The monster wants to come out and play…

The Monster

He’s always there. Lurking. Waiting for the right time to strike.

He waits until I’m not expecting, and he strikes.  Taking over.

He takes everything.  Leaving only devastation behind…

 

Even in my drawings he’s always there. Lurking. Waiting for me to find him.

Release at least comes from my drawings but I feel so much darkness in them when I’m done.  It scares me sometimes…

He’s lurking over my shoulder waiting for later. Till I can’t sleep…

Today.  He’s in my mind.  Making it race with doubts.  The panic washes over me.  Waves.  Self doubt.  Terror.  Stress. What ifs?  Tomorrow is a huge stressor for me today.  Tomorrow will be worse.  I don’t expect much sleep tonight how I’m feeling tonight.  I half wonder if I should take an ambian…but, I hate how out of it I am the next day, and I figure with my other meds, I’ll be a mess.  Or will I be a mess on no sleep…and again he takes over….

Sorry for the high post count today…

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