Days just keep getting worse. I’m so mad all the time now. For no reason. Motivation is not there.
I push myself to atleast make sure the Zoo is feed and happy.
Cleaning has slowed but progress is being made.
I blame the Valium or lack there of. I’ve only been taking it when I really really need it. Which means some days I won’t take it to conserve it. Today is one of those days.
I’m on edge. Can’t take the edge off. I feel like a caged animal. About to explode.
The idea of leaving my apartment scares the crap out of me. But I really need to. It’s been days since I’ve actually been outside.
My focus is off. I just can’t stay on one thing for long and that drives me insane. I’m shaky. Constantly needing to be moving. I’m not hungry. I force myself to eat because I need to bot because I’m hungry. And please don’t get me wrong. I LOVE food. I always joke being a small girl that I’m a fat kid stuck in a skinny girls body that’s how much I love food and love to eat. So this not eating thing is not cool.
The Other Half is doing his best to help. He surprised me with a new DS game and Frozen yesterday. Both I’ve been wanting. And it sure helped my mood. He does is best. And I’m so best thankful for him. He keeps me grounded sometimes when I think I’m about to lose my mind.
I feel disjointed and rambley today as I write. My state of mine I suppose.
I’m feeling so hopeless right now. I hope my appointment on Monday helps calm me.
Maybe some art later. It’s not like sleep comes as easy anymore.