One more week…

Today I had my second appointment with the therapist.  Whew.  Emotionally I’m exhausted.  I’m not really sure what she asked…or…it it was just the walk to the appointment that got me worked up with anxiety but…starting things off with a full on room starting to spin panic attack.  Well I’m sure you can guess how well things went.

Honestly I don’t know what happened today.  I realized some things I’ve been holding in for so long…and had no idea.  Admitting it, to myself mostly….once I get these thoughts organized more I’ll try to write more…but I’m still all jumbled…

What I do know is I have my first appointment on the road to atleast getting on the right meds.  I see the nurse for the clinic next week. I HOPE she can atleast get me a refill on the valium at that point, I have to do an intake appointment with her first before I see the psychiatrist.  But until then I’m without and struggling.

I’ve also apparently been fired.  Which they have yet to tell me but I’ve heard it through other people.  I’m considering this on top of everything else thats happened there I may consider legal actions.  Which means I have no income.  So thankfully my therapist is sending me off to DSS to get paperwork so I can get assistance due to mental illness.  I’m so glad she’s willing to help me get that right now…not that I EVER wanted to live on assistance like that I know for sure I can NOT work the way I feel right now.

I feel like I’m failing.  I’m letting everyone down.  I hate it.

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One thought on “One more week…

  1. Every day is a battle. Sometimes you survive and win, sometimes the demons bite you in the ass. All you can do is the best you can each day. If that means getting assistance and going to therapy, so be it. Tomorrow your best will be something different. Don’t beat yourself up.

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