Ok so no one is really picking on me. In fact. A pretty select few even know that I’m currently in the process of getting assistance from DSS. So why do I feel like every picture like this or post about “deadbeats living off the system when they are fully able to work” is directed at me?
My Facebook feed has no more or less of these posts than usual. In fact I’ve been known to make a few of those posts myself.
Truth is I feel guilty. I know what I’m doing is what is best for ME and that’s what matters. I need this time to get better. Not that I honestly even think I could make it through a full day of work even if I tried to go.
I hate when I feel paranoid like this. Thankfully tomorrow brings my first appointment with the psychiatrist and I pray that also means new meds and some true relief. Then I have to remind myself. This may take time. Finding the right med/meds for me. Something that will continue working. But I have hope.
Rōjin. My sweet senior dog. How lucky I am that he’s come into our lives. This old man helps me so much every day.
Never did I think I’d spend hours looking up massage therapy for dogs with arthritis. Making sure he’s getting out for short walks often to keep him from getting to stiff. Researching supplements for his arthritis. Finding a good treatment for his poor dry skin.
But most of all. I’ve loved watching this old man just blossom. He went from a tired old depressed dog. To a happy, goofy, playful, loving old man. As much as he’s helping me. I know I’m helping him too. And it helps.