Stop picking on me!

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Ok so no one is really picking on me. In fact. A pretty select few even know that I’m currently in the process of getting assistance from DSS. So why do I feel like every picture like this or post about “deadbeats living off the system when they are fully able to work” is directed at me?

My Facebook feed has no more or less of these posts than usual. In fact I’ve been known to make a few of those posts myself.

Truth is I feel guilty. I know what I’m doing is what is best for ME and that’s what matters. I need this time to get better. Not that I honestly even think I could make it through a full day of work even if I tried to go.

I hate when I feel paranoid like this. Thankfully tomorrow brings my first appointment with the psychiatrist and I pray that also means new meds and some true relief. Then I have to remind myself. This may take time. Finding the right med/meds for me. Something that will continue working. But I have hope.

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Rōjin. My sweet senior dog. How lucky I am that he’s come into our lives. This old man helps me so much every day.

Never did I think I’d spend hours looking up massage therapy for dogs with arthritis. Making sure he’s getting out for short walks often to keep him from getting to stiff. Researching supplements for his arthritis. Finding a good treatment for his poor dry skin.

But most of all. I’ve loved watching this old man just blossom. He went from a tired old depressed dog. To a happy, goofy, playful, loving old man. As much as he’s helping me. I know I’m helping him too. And it helps.

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3 thoughts on “Stop picking on me!

  1. If you’ve never lived in a severely impoverished area (like south side of chicago bad), you can’t even imagine the ways the deadbeats those images are referring to are working the system. As long as you want to get on your feet and aren’t avoiding work, faking injuries, or having children just to prolong eligibility(I’m not even kidding. They time them to be born right before they’re inelligible), you’re probably doing the right thing. Truth is: I hate those programs. I hate them because they allow people to work them, devaluing the programs and making it shameful to utilize them. They’re designed for people like you with only good intentions. Good luck and hang in there. I don’t know you, but I can tell you’re not a deadbeat!!

    • Thank you! I actually used to work as a call center supervisor for an electric and gas company and I’ve seen so many people who do work the system. It’s just so depressing for me to have to ask for help like this. And of course my anxiety likes to try and play tricks on me and makes me feel awful about it.

      Thank you for the kind words they help so much!

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