Fear is my greatest enemy.


Yesterday was a very bad day. Super high anxiety, depression looming, I found myself often just sobbing for no reason.

Old wounds burned as my mind ran rampant in my old memories. Whispers in my ear that I’m not good enough…a burden on everyone…

I couldn’t focus. On anything. Even my excitement over the new season of Haven streaming on Netflix couldn’t break into the place my mind was in. I just couldn’t keep my mind on it.

So I sat down to write…but what about? I admit, I’ve been neglecting my blog,  I hardly wanted to moan away about another bad day, just allow myself to wallow.  Maybe it was because I didn’t want to admit yet another med…isn’t working.  Beyond all that my last two therapy sessions were canceled and the next one isn’t until the 28th.  Oh lets not forget my psychiatrist retiring to top things off in 2 days…so hopes for a follow up on meds is not in the near future.

Instead I turned to another topic…Piper. I almost didn’t even post it. I was scared. Scared of the negativity I could bring to my safe place….the place where I lay my heart and soul out for all to see.

I then did the unthinkable. I shared it. On Facebook with the Bring Piper Home Group.

Writing has been such a hard thing for me for so long. The fear of judgments on what I think.

What I got was such wonderful feedback…comments here and on Facebook that…I know no one knew just how much it all really means.

Out of one of my darker days recently there suddenly was a light. The darkness lifted a bit. Slowly I was able to take back the rest of my day.

Each day is a battle…that I will win.


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