One thing I’ve missed the most that I’ve allowed the anxiety take from me is photography. At one time, it was my life. I spent hours, hell days, weeks, in dark rooms, working on the perfect prints. Climbing around on, in, and through things I probably wouldn’t think of otherwise if it weren’t for a perfect shot. Three years at one of the top Art Colleges in the country, leaving me with a BFA in Fine Art Photography, and nothing to say for it because I’m too scared to try.
What if I fail?
What if people hate my work?
What if…?
What if……
What.
If.
Two simple little words that can ruin everything for someone with anxiety. I’ve thought time and time again about working on a project or two, and maybe even trying to sell some prints. The closest I’ve ever gotten is a forgotten instagram account. Recently the photography bug is hitting me again, spring has started, everything is new, and I live in farm country. I could probably make a little money if I worked at it. But I’m afraid it will once again be something that gets lost in the dust. Again. The “what ifs” are creeping in.
I also apologize for the amount of posts today, the mind is racing and writing it down helps.
“Comfort” © Lindsey Sheret Reuse of this image is prohibited without consent of the photographer.
Life of the Bipolar Mind 
just do it! what if you succeed? What if the world ends tomorrow? What difference will it make? Some people will like it, some may not, and most really don’t give a dang! Good luck!
I have the same anxiety when I write something — particularly something I intend to post in my blog. But I know that if I don’t risk rejection and criticism, I won’t grow in my craft, either. I was asking myself just this morning, “What should I write so that, when I lay dying, I’ll know it mattered that I could write well?”
So many days have gone by when I’ve wondered what I’m good at that matters. I cannot tell you what a difference it made when I actually had an opportunity to get paid for proofreading someone’s papers. I was doing something I loved — something I’d do for free just for the fun of it — but I was also earning something I could use to help buy groceries for our family. It isn’t a ton of money, but it makes a difference. I haven’t held a job outside the home since before I married back in 2001. I keep working on my blog and offering my proofreading & editing services, and I’ve had a couple gigs lately — only one of them paying, but both of them worthwhile.
I’d love to see some of your work, though. I hope you post some, soon!
Have a great weekend!
A big hug for you (if you don’t mind virtual hugs).:)